Brokenness

It is an amazing feeling when we experience the power and presence of God. When the Holy Spirit moves in such a powerful way that tears are a part of the response. I had this kind of experience one Sunday in preparation for a message. As I reflected on what God was doing in my heart there were four aspects that I centered myself on. I mention these four aspects because they caused me to become broken, even for just a moment, and because other people can maybe relate or be encouraged to seek God by reflecting on these aspects.

1. The Gospel — There is nothing more precious to me than the Gospel. The fact that Jesus died on a cross of my sin is mind-blowing. I don't deserve this kind of grace that comes through the cross, yet Jesus chose me before the foundation of the world to be apart of His eternal family. 
2. NonChristians — Preaching the Gospel is personal to me. I did not become a Christian until later in life, thus I know many people who are not Christians. I am aware that every time I take the stage to preach, there are people listening to me who do not know Jesus. 
3. My sin — I suck. It's crude to say but the fact is simple, I am a sinner. Until Jesus takes me from this earth there will be a battle between my flesh and my spirit. My propensity to sin sometimes causes me to tremble and realize my dependence on Jesus. Which leads me to my final aspect of reflection:
4. Dependence — I am dependent on Jesus ever day of my life. The moment I forget this is when I slip into sin, forget about grace, forget about the Gospel, and become lukewarm.

The merging of these four areas bring me to a place of brokenness. I do not assume it's like this for everyone, but this was my experience. The Gospel, reflection on those who do not know Jesus, my sin, and dependance on Jesus are the four streams of thought that bring repentance in my heart as well as tears.

Confidence in Christ - a short rant

It does not happen often but sometimes God's Word slaps you across the face like a 2x4. Such was the case recently while I was reading the Epistle to the Ephesians. I began in chapter 4 and made it three verses before sensing the conviction of God. For reference here is the passage.

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

I have two specific observations. First, Paul exhorts the the Ephesians to have confidence in their calling as ministers of the Gospel. Second, he instructs them to be humble and gentle with patience. These two observations have a tension, at least in American culture. How can someone be confident while also being humble and gentle? How do I reconcile Paul's encouragement to be confident in my calling while committing myself to be humble and gentle? From my perspective it's a challenge to live between confidence and humility—especially in a culture where power, money, and authority are valued. 

The antidote, I think, for this tension is found in Christ. In 1 Cor. 1:31 Paul quotes Jeremiah 9:23-24. "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." When confidence is deflected from oneself and drawn from God, perfect humility and gentleness are not contradictions but the outworking of how one lives. The challenge is no longer bridging the tension but seeking Christ for confidence. 

One final thought about this way of living. I hear much about living “counter-cultural.” I see this clearly in the cities where people attempt to live counter to the mass majority. Boasting in Christ is perhaps the most counter-cultural one can get. Christianity in America is no longer valued. Being radical means being a Christian and deriving confidence from Jesus. To be humble and gentle is counter-cultural to seeking money, power, and authority.